Planning a Funeral

by Julia Ann Upton | Jan 8, 2013 | Tags: , , ,

Since the celebration of the funeral bring together family and friends who are experiencing deep grief, the ritual itself should minister to these people. Therefore, the ritual should be attentive to all the senses; be marked by beauty, dignity, and reverence; and with simplicity invite the participation of the assembly.

The Word of God ministers to the grieving as it proclaims the paschal mystery and comforts the sorrowful. Although nonbiblical readings should not replace Scripture, they can be used in addition to biblical readings. John Donne’s sonnet “Death Be Not Proud” and Anne Sexton’s “Awful Rowing Toward God” are two examples of religious poetry suitable for a funeral. The Psalms are particularly responsive to the needs and moods of the community, expressing the depths of grief as well as the heights of praise. These ancient songs cut through time and culture to touch the core of human longing. Psalm 23 (“The Lord is my shepherd”) is often prayed or sung at funerals because of its comforting pastoral motif.

The Order of Christian Funerals, the Lutheran Book of Worship, and The Book of Common Prayer provide a variety of prayers that capture the unspoken prayers and hopes of the assembly and respond to their need for consolation. The prayers of intercession even more directly address the needs of the deceased, those who mourn, and the entire assembly. Models are provided in the ritual books which can be adapted to particular circumstances as needed.
Because of its power to evoke strong feelings, music has an important place in all funerals. Songs can console and uplift the mourners by their references to the paschal character of Christian death and the community’s share in Christ’s victory.
There is also a place for reverent silence in the funeral rites which can evoke awe as the community stands in the face of the mystery of death.
Other Christian symbols can be used effectively, although local custom will dictate the degree to which each speaks in the funeral rites:
Candles serve as a continuous reminder of Christ’s victory, along with our share in that victory, recalling both the Easter celebration and baptism when the newly baptized receive the light of faith.
Water sprinkled on the coffin at the beginning of the funeral liturgy likewise recalls the Christian’s incorporation into Christ’s death and resurrection through the waters of baptism.
Incense can be used in the funeral rites to lend greater dignity to the celebration. It gives visual expression to our prayers as they rise to God, while being attentive to the sense of smell as well.
A Bible or book of the Gospels placed on or near the coffin can symbolize the deceased’s fidelity to God’s Word.
The cross with which the Christian is first marked in baptism, may also be placed on or near the coffin.
Flowers, subtle reminders that life and beauty transcend present suffering, also enhance the celebration.
The colors used should reflect Christian hope, without negating human grief. White in American culture, therefore, is more appropriate than black.
Processions, with pallbearers carrying the coffin, have a significance as the family and friends of the deceased go from one ritual to the next, from funeral home to the place of burial. They recall not only early Christian funerals, but also the journey that is human life and the Christian pilgrimage to the heavenly Jerusalem.

Because of its power to evoke strong feelings, music has an important place in all funerals. Songs can console and uplift the mourners by their references to the paschal character of Christian death and the community’s share in Christ’s victory.

There is also a place for reverent silence in the funeral rites which can evoke awe as the community stands in the face of the mystery of death.

Other Christian symbols can be used effectively, although local custom will dictate the degree to which each speaks in the funeral rites:

  • Candles serve as a continuous reminder of Christ’s victory, along with our share in that victory, recalling both the Easter celebration and baptism when the newly baptized receive the light of faith.
  • Water sprinkled on the coffin at the beginning of the funeral likewise recalls the Christian’s incorporation into Christ’s death and resurrection through the waters of baptism.
  • Incense can be used in the funeral rites to lend greater dignity to the celebration. It gives visual expression to our prayers as they rise to God, while being attentive to the sense of smell as well.
  • A Bible or book of the Gospels placed on or near the coffin can symbolize the deceased’s fidelity to God’s Word.
  • The cross with which the Christian is first marked in baptism, may also be placed on or near the coffin.
  • Flowers, subtle reminders that life and beauty transcend present suffering, also enhance the celebration.
  • The colors used should reflect Christian hope, without negating human grief. White in American culture, therefore, is more appropriate than black.

Processions, with pallbearers carrying the coffin, have a significance as the family and friends of the deceased go from one ritual to the next, from funeral home to the place of burial. They recall not only early Christian funerals, but also the journey that is human life and the Christian pilgrimage to the heavenly Jerusalem.